Here’s the Mantown list of New Years resolutions, folks.
Read it and weep, or laugh yourself silly

1. No more profanity or expletives of any kind.
2. Limit ourselves to four hours per night of internet sex
3. No more posting of gratuitous pictures of female breasts, beautiful fannies or genitalia
4. As a plea for world peace, sit for three days in a jacuzzi full of grits (Texas only)
   
5. Weekly postings of our favorite bible verses
6. Weekly posting of a really cool patchwork quilting lesson using backhair (YouTube)
7. No more posting of Jello wrestling or sexually suggestive videos or any post regarding veiny knockwurst
8. No more tranny or midget references
9. No more cigars in the shower
10. We will try hard to make sex, drugs and rock & roll a thing of the past
11. For those of us that do smoke, we will stop; cold turkey
12. As far as alcohol is concerned, it is forbidden to touch our lips, especially real good beer
13. We will institute a weekly ‘crying’ session (via chat) where we try desperately to get in touch with our individual feelings and masculine sense of  feng shui
14. Get back to our true love, Cabaret
15. Read this post and unanimously say, “Yeah,  like it could happen . . .  In fucking hell.”

From all of us here at Mantown,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

We want your links people.
Pick one, two or whatever.
We will find a place for your ’sick (or funny) as shit’ imagination here on the pages of Mantown.
Now, go.
Scour the net and find us some sick and funny shit (linx to post).
Mantown waits for you to harden the fuck up and send us something.
And you may someday be famous.
Maybe.

I recently read of a practice in Malaysia, that quite frankly scares the living hell out of me. Women there perform a black magic ritual in order to keep a man’s undivided attention. They fix a rice recipe with a secret ingredient and serve it to their man in order to enslave them. Be Aware!!! Here is the recipe that the women make so you will know what to look for, in order to avoid this perverse and heinous act.

Nasi Kangkang

Make a pot of rice.

Spoon out a bowlful of rice.

Take off your underpants and squat 5 centimeters above the steaming rice letting your ‘juices’ flow into the rice.

Ohhh, the horror. But I bet that it is Crazee Tastee!!!

Today I salute you Nephew going back to school next week. Every year you brave the cry baby emo’s, worhtless preppies, drugged up jocks, and the rampant cases of STD’s and are not even allowed to pray for death to come quickly. This year as the little bastards try and make fun of your hero Sponge Bob remember to have Faith because hey everyone loves Sponge Bob on a pair of big hooties.

Sponge Boob

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.

The Amish man shouts: ‘Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.’
Which means: ‘Don’t drink the water, the cows have shit in it.’

The man shouts back: ‘I’m a Muslim, I don’t understand. Please speak in English.’

The Amish man says: ‘Use two hands. You’ll get more.’

Not for the faint of heart . . .
Sam Kinison at his absolute best.
Who said necrophilia couldn’t be funny?

The other day I was blogsearching and some whiny bitch was complaining that men just do not have faith. I take exception to that and frankly such a blanket accusation to all of mankind is just bullshit. I have faith. In Bed With Faith is the top site on my favorites so fuck off.